The Buzz

How to Deal With an Office Romance

By Megan Broussard

It’s almost Valentine’s Day and you’ve probably got love on the brain. If you’re currently crushing on, seeing, secretly dating, or hooking up with someone in the office, you’re probably wondering if you’ve gone mental with all of the questions swirling around in your mind.

Am I putting my job at risk? Is this girl or guy worth the constant morning distraction and pressure to find something perfect to wear each day? How do other people handle matters of the heart at work? Does this relationship even have a chance to work? What if it backfires?

Whoa, ok, take a deep breath. I’ve been there, and I know exactly how stressed you must feel. But, it’s sort of exciting right? Sure there’s a chance it may not work out, but you’ll never know if you don’t try. Once you know for sure that your company doesn’t have a fraternizing policy, then you’ll want to do your best to pursue your feelings in the right way. Here are tips, real life stories, and stats to help you figure out your next course of action.

…That final piece of advice from Augustin is exactly what tops the list of inter-office-dating tips from Irene LaCota, spokesperson for international matchmaking service It’s Just Lunch. LaCota recommends:

“Keep quiet around others. Try to keep your relationship private as long as possible, especially during the early stages when you’ve made no commitments to each other. Otherwise, coworkers will scrutinize the two of you and fuel the office rumor mill.”

But, LaCota says, you must communicate with each other before your relationship gets too serious and discuss the rules of the “partnership” so neither of you will misunderstand the other’s intentions and be hurt.

“As a couple, develop speaking points so you both offer the same story when someone in your office asks about the two of you. Co-develop standards for how you interact at the office.”

She says that many a relationship has been hurt because one person tries to be discreet at the office and the other person expects some displays of affection.

“For example, the guy interprets a head nod as a brushing off when all the girl was simply trying to do was be discreet,” says LaCota.

“Keep it professional at all times at the office and on the road. Treat each other as coworkers at the office, and not as romantic partners. No revealing emails. No kisses over the cell phone. Give each other some space. You don’t need to be together all the time. In fact, you don’t need to be together all the time at the office. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. “

As for traveling together on business? LaCota says no matter what, “do not share a room together, in fact, don’t even enter the other’s hotel room. You never know who you’re going to bump into in that hotel hallway.”

And, I can only imagine the subsequent awkward conversation you’ll be forced to have. And, that my friends, is for a separate article.

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What Do Men and Women Really Want for Valentine’s Day? The Answers Aren’t As Complicated As You Think

By Lucia Peters

Much is often made about figuring out what men and women really want for Valentine’s Day, but you know what? It turns out the answers aren’t all that complicated. Matchmaking service It’s Just Lunch (which you might remember from that poll about whether sports and relationships mix) surveyed 1,000 of its users to get to the bottom of this often-considered question — and not only are the results not surprising, they’re actually kind of comforting. Generally, it seems like we all just want to have a nice meal and spend some quality time with our loved ones. Isn’t that nice? When you get past all the floofy decorations, florid prose, and questionable boxes of chocolates that inevitably appear during the first few weeks of February, that’s exactly what Valentine’s Day should be about: Appreciating the people you love.

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5 of the most successful online dating websites for scoring a date in 2015

5 of the most successful online dating websites for scoring a date in 2015

Professional matchmaker or do-it-yourself, there are plenty of options
By James R. Hood

Meeting people should be easy. After all, the world is full of them and they’re fairly evenly divided in terms of gender, height and so forth. But as a review of literature stretching back to cave drawings will tell you, meeting — and hanging onto — the right person isn’t all that easy. This is where dating services come in. They’re not perfect but they’re better than ordering brides by mail or submitting to your mother’s idea of who your perfect match is.

Describing itself as a “dating service for professionals,” It’s Just Lunch also uses a personal counselor approach, hoping to find just the right chemistry in each situation. With offices in major cities, it’s not restricted to a single geographic area. The reviews we’re received at ConsumerAffairs the last few years have been largely positive, like this one from Michael of North Carolina: “By and large I have been satisfied with the experiences gained from the group. The dates have all been delightful, professional women. I have enjoyed my experiences, and have made a connection with one of the women.”

Dating Dealbreakers

In an article posted on on September 12th, author Kait Smith discusses “3 Modern Day Deal Breakers”. The post references an it’s Just Lunch survey that interviewed over 1600 people. Respondents were asked whether income, education and career matter when seeking a partner. Questions were specific to work, education and money. Smith argues the results show that some women are still looking for protectors and times have not changed as much as we might think.

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Dinner, Lunch, or Coffee, It All Means Something

PlosOne Open Source Peer ReviewOkay, we admit it, lunch could lead to . . . something.

The Cornell University research article published in Plos One titled “It’s Not Just Lunch: Extra-Pair Commensality Can Trigger Sexual Jealousy” finds that “people are evolved to recognize that eating together tends to involve, or perhaps lead to, something more than food.”

The study included 76 participants and was produced by the Dyson School of Applied Economics and Management at Cornell University. Authors Professor Brian Wansink and Kevin M. Kniffin discovered that meals with the opposite sex consistently elicit more jealousy from significant others than face-to-face interactions.

It’s not necessarily any situation where food is shared that elicits jealousy though. It’s the time you congregate and what you consume that counts. For instance, morning coffee is innocuous vs an evening meal, which is seen as more of an intimate interaction. Instinctively many of us are already aware of this and for It’s Just Lunch the nuances of this interaction are an art form. In fact we were delighted to see the topic under scrutiny. We encourage you to check out the article for an interesting perspective on what time, place and type of food can indicate.

Dating – Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

Online dating photos can motivate us to make a decision about a person too quickly. Frank Partnoy summarizes his new book “Wait: The Art and Science of Delay” and references It’s Just Lunch as one of his case study examples in this short KPBS News video clip.

Procrastination is underrated according to Frank Partnoy. In his recently published book, “Wait: The Art and Science of Delay”, he discusses the possibility that there is too much pressure to make quick choices and that we can all benefit from taking the maximum time allotted before making a decision.

Professor Frank Partnoy is a Professor of Law and Finance and the director of the Center on Corporate and Securities Law at the University of San Diego. He is one of the world’s leading experts on the complexities of modern finance and financial market regulation.

In his book he draws a relationship between delayed responses and successful actions. The stock market, sports and dating are a number of examples he uses to show that measured, calculated and patient responses are superlative. It’s important to note though that he is not insisting you drag out the decision making process unnecessarily. He is simply saying, that once you ascertain the appropriate time frame, allow yourself until the very last moment to arrive at the outcome. This way you are likely to make a better decision.

In “Blink” a book about rapid cognition, Malcom Gladwell supports the theory that often our first decision is the right one, but even so he references gut instinct as a successful tool for experts. Partnoy does not overlook the need for urgency; rather he cites studies that show emergency room doctors who practice waiting one minute longer before deciding how to treat a life threatening injury have better success in saving the lives of their patients. The reality is though that almost all the decisions that we make in our lives every day are not life threatening, including choosing who we date, so ultimately time is a luxury we do have. Why rush it?

The 33 News

When specialty dating service It’s Just Lunch asked 5000 singles, “When you are on a first date, what thought is going through your head?” they received an unexpected result: Not only did men and women have different top answers, but the first choice given by 47% of men, “Could we have a relationship together?”

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Market Watch

The good news for doctors who expect to work weekends and get paged at 3 a.m. at some point in the near future is that life does get easier, says Parrott. Translation: You’ll have more opportunities to meet someone and go on dates, even if you’re no longer treated to med-school mixers. Melissa Brown, president of national dating service It’s Just Lunch, which counts a growing number of doctors in its client base, suggests committing to at least a few hours a week for dating whether you’re just starting your residency or are an established doctor.

Physicians Practice

Liam pairs up with Diablo Magazine to find the best date spots in the bay area and then we’ll sit down with Bay Area locals to hear their dating stories plus get a bit of professional advice from San Francisco’s “Its Just Lunch” dating experts on how to find a date and keep them happy!

View the video

Eye on the Bay

It’s Just Lunch, a dating service for busy professionals, surveyed 3,968 singles nationwide about how much they spend on dates. It found that 51% of men in the U.S. spend more than $100 a month on dates, and 29% spend more than $150. In bigger cities, those figures are higher. For example, 82% of men in Los Angeles spend more than $150 a month on dates.
Women, on the other hand, spend significantly less. About two-thirds of women spend less than $50 a month. Perhaps it’s a sign that the Southern gentleman is still around, but 75% of women in the South spend less than $50 a month on dates.

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IJL Dating Facts
  • 17%: The chance of liking a date set up by a friend.

  • 11: The number of single friends the average 27 year old has.

  • Top cuisine choices for a first date: 46% Italian, 19% Steakhouse, 16% Japanese, 11% Mexican, 8% French

  • 110 Million: The number of single adults in the United States.

  • Baseball games: A great place to meet men says 74% of single women.

  • 76% of Men: Prefer brunettes over blondes.

  • 43% of Singles: Have Googled someone on the internet before their date.

  • 76% of Men: Prefer brunettes over blondes.

  • Top Conversation Killers: Past relationships—49%, dieting or body image—21%, politics—15% and marriage—15%

  • Wednesday: The best day for a first date according to 41% of singles.


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